Animadversions.

I grew up in Frederick County, Maryland. It’s good to see the place just gets goofier and goofier.

Last week, Westley Etters - a new employee of the Frederick County Parks and Recreation department - was introduced to County Commissioners. During his presentation, Mr. Etters dared to… wear a hat indoors. This angered County Commissioner Mike Cady, who immediately presented a motion to fire Etters. When the motion failed, he next moved to strike $35,000 from the Parks and Recreation budget - an amount he estimated matched Etters’ salary.

From the Frederick News Post:

Department heads introduced new employees at the beginning of the commissioners’ Thursday meeting. Randy Davis of the parks and recreation department stood in front of the commissioners to introduce new employee Westley Etters. Mr. Etters wore a knit hat.

Mr. Cady asked Mr. Etters if the Air Force had stopped teaching their airmen to remove their hats.

“In the Air Force, I did,” Mr. Etters said without removing his hat.

Mr. Cady immediately made a motion for Mr. Etters’ dismissal for insubordination.

Mr. Etters said, “You have a commissioner sitting next to you with a hat. Does she have special privileges?”

Commissioner Jan Gardner was wearing a green-and-yellow felt hat she had been given for St. Patrick’s Day. She removed her hat, but Mr. Etters still made no attempt to remove his.

Commissioners President John L. Thompson Jr., Commissioner Bruce Reeder and Ms. Gardner voted not to dismiss the employee.

But wait, it gets EVEN LAMER.

From a follow-up story:

County Commissioner Mike Cady asked for Mr. Etters’ dismissal for insubordination the new employee didn’t remove his hat during his introduction. The vote failed, with Mr. Cady and Commissioner John Lovell in favor.

Assistant County Attorney Linda Thall said Friday that commissioners could not have fired Mr. Etters. They do not have the authority to fire an employee who does not directly report to them. That decision must occur at the departmental level.

Because the commissioners comprise the appellate body for any county employee who is fired, they are not able to “intervene in the hiring or promotional process, discipline or dismissal of Frederick County government employees,” according to county regulations.

Cady isn’t merely a huge, pompous windbag. He’s a huge, pompous windbag WITH NO GRASP OF THE SCOPE OF HIS ACTUAL AUTHORITY. This guy should be immediately removed from office and run out of town on a rail. He’s a blow-hard, a megalomaniacal jackass AND is ignorant to boot. Quite a winning combination.

Moving on:

[W]hen Mr. Etters failed to remove his cap, Mr. Cady and Mr. Lovell, a former Navy pilot, tried to fire him for insubordination.

“He copped an attitude,” Mr. Cady said. “At that point it was plain to me that this is not the model employee that we want around other employees — and especially with parks and recreation around our families and children.”

After his first motion failed, Mr. Cady immediately moved to take $35,000 from the parks and recreation budget and move it to the county’s contingency fund. The vote passed 3-2, with commissioners Jan Gardner and Bruce Reeder in opposition.

Mr. Cady described Mr. Etters’ behavior as “belligerent.” He said he settled on $35,000 because that is roughly the amount of money used to fund Mr. Etters’ position with the county.

“My intent is not to pay for his position,” Mr. Cady said.

…

Mr. Cady said money in the contingency fund pays for unforeseen expenses or will be transferred to the following year’s funds. He said he would be willing to vote to return the funds to parks and recreation if Mr. Etters comes before county commissioners and apologizes “for his lack of respect and defiance.”

The level of petty infantilism Cady displayed is STAGGERING. The idea that someone might actually be offended by a HAT is mind boggling. Is it polite to remove a hat in some settings? Certainly. But unless there’s a rule in Etters’ contract stipulating that he is required - as a FUNCTION OF HIS POSITION - to remove his hat, Cady is completely and utterly out of line.

Cady’s behavior is ridiculous and the fact that any of the other commissioners voted to support his tantrum is absolutely shameful. And people wonder where I learned not to trust authority figures.