Animadversions.

The weblog of Joshua Drescher

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Suddenly, I feel like a Creationist.

August 24th, 2006 · 2 Comments · Rants, Science

“Science” is trying to tell us that Pluto isn’t a planet anymore.

Well, fuck that. Pluto IS a planet. And nothing those bastards do will EVER change my mind.

Henceforth, I will only support Pluto-positive candidates for political office. I will only allow my future children to attend schools that - if they try to teach the “Octoplanetary Theory” - give equal time to the Plutoplanetist position. I will only invite like-minded Plutophiles to my cook-outs, cook-ins and pot-lucks.

We will fight them in the schools! We will fight them in the courts! We will fight them in the back alleys and the cul de sacs and the two-hour limited (towing enforced) parking lots of our local planetaria!

RESIST! REBEL! REFUSE TO SURRENDER OUR PROUD, TINY, CELESTIAL BROTHER!

VIVAT PLUTO!

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2 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Aubrey // Aug 24, 2006 at 1:44 pm

    Haha. Think of the children. The children who are now crying into their syrofoam models of the solar system.

    I think that the Plutoplanetist position should also proclaim that Ceres is again a planet. After all, it was “science” that demoted it in the 1800s. And then we’d have 10 of them. A nice, round, godly number.

  • 2 Ralf // Aug 25, 2006 at 8:15 am

    What about Charon? Or 2003 UB313 (aka Xena)? Then the number is up to the even more godly 12–the number of the twelve apostles.

    10 is a vile, unholy number, well known to feature prominently in the secularist metric system.

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