The weblog of Joshua Drescher

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January 12th, 2007 · No Comments · Politics, Rants

I’ll admit it. I’ve been a bit DOWN as of late.

The Holidays are behind us. The Weather is misbehaving in ways that must be measured on the Gore Scale of Potential Warmish Doom. Trix-brand breakfast cereal has reverted to ball form - abandoning the vastly superior “fruit shape” presentation that has dominated the past decade. Also, there’s that muck and nonsense about Surges and War.

Dark Days, indeed.

But, when I thought all was right and truly lost, an angelic light pierced that dark down-ness. It came in the form of an email from an old ally reminding me that the State of the Union Address is mere days away (the 23rd of This Very Month in This Very Fearsome Year of Our Lord, according to filthy, Red Commie sources).

Oh, sweet Felicity! Seeing Crooked Bastards like Bush give public speeches will forever be a decadent and horrible treat for folks like me. They squirm and lie and do all of the things that re-energize us by displaying all of the traits we despise. It reaffirms the point of our very existence by providing a fetid, repulsive example that we can measure ourselves against (protip: the stark contrast makes us feel all Warm and Superior).

What, oh WHAT, will King George II bring up this time?

Will he have the unmitigated gall to proudly reference the death of Hussein? (Oh, Lord. Please, if you’re there and listening, make this happen.)

Will he find a way to blame the impending failure of The Surge on his detractors?

Will he eat a gay baby on live TV and cackle maniacally as its Inner Bits trickle down his chin?

Will he just start weeping openly and collapse on the floor?

More importantly, if he does, will it help him in the polls? (It would almost HAVE to.)

Yeah, Bubba, I am reinvigorated. Lock up your daughters and pop the popcorn.

It’s Go Time.


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