Animadversions.

The weblog of Joshua Drescher

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Instead of the Cross, the Albatross.

August 28th, 2007 · No Comments · Politics

Like a horde of ancient mariners, cursed by their own deeds, the GOP can’t seem to go a week these days without a major, hilarious scandal. It’s almost as though there’s some one, specific thing bringing a terrible doom upon them.

What could it be?

Iraq? Immigration reform? Fiscal responsibility? Katrina? Health care? Taxes? The War on Terror?

No, my friends. These are all minor, easily dismissed concerns. Just ask Tony Snow. The TRUE albatross is none other than The Singing Senators.

John Ashcroft, Jim Jeffords, Trent Lott and Larry Craig started performing together in 1995. Those were simpler times. Republican legislative power was resurgent after decades of minority status. The economy was roaring along, the Cold War was over and they had Bill Clinton to beat up on non-stop. Who WOULDN’T start a barbershop quartet at a time like that?

But then something started to happen to the Singing Senators. John Ashcroft lost a re-election bid to a dead man. Jim Jeffords - perhaps possessing precognitive psychic powers - fled the GOP entirely. Trent Lott forgot that cameras can record words as WELL as pictures and was forced to resign as Senate Republican Leader after publicly stating that we’d be better off if only Americans had elected segregationist Strom Thurmond to the presidency. And now, Larry Craig - despite his claims of simply having an unusually wide “stance” in the bathroom - has pled guilty to engaging is some sort of unreasonably complicated gay sex ritual in a Minneapolis air port mens room.

And so, with Craig now publicly shamed, could this mean an end to the parade of GOP scandals? Having gotten revenge at long last on the final Singing Senator, is the albatross satisfied?

Only time will tell, but it’s probably not a bad idea to stay out of the steam room in the Capitol Building just to be on the safe side.

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